It feels so long since I last sat in front of my screen with a cup of coffee and began typing in the little confines of this text editor. I’m anxious and press the backspace more often than any other key on my keyboard, as I try to find the right words to convey my thoughts, my feelings and everything that I want to share.
I’ll start off with something simple; I’m back in business.
I spent the last couple of years in a vortex of emotional and physical chaos, with events sweeping me up and carrying me to a spiral of – for a lack of better word – depression.
The biggest emotional blow came when I lost my father, with whom I hadn’t spoken since 2005. After being estranged for so long, it’s so hard to fit all the things you could have said and all the things you should have said in what little time you are given, when you’re faced with the reality of someone you’ve loved for all your life, and of someone who was just a victim of bad choices, waiting for their imminent death to the grasp of cancer. I tried my best, but I still felt hurt, so my first trip down solitude lane was a reality.
I didn’t plan to stay obscured for long; perhaps a couple of weeks to feel better. And then my health decided to take a brilliant downturn.
I started suffering from neurological symptoms, and an endless array of doctors and scans left me undiagnosed, but with a bunch of pills to color my daily diet. The drugs did help, and I once again began contemplating returning to my business.
And then a freakish accident in my own house happened. I suffered a fractured orbital floor bone and I was in ruin. The fracture was small enough to make surgery really difficult (and extremely costly), but big enough to make working an absolute nightmare, as by looking straight ahead and at the screen resulted in severe diplopia.
The recovery period was very frustrating, as I was essentially incapable of translating, riddled with impossible medical expenses (seriously, why do healthcare services cost more than buying a house?) and suspended in inertia.
The only bright spot was having my dear friend and colleague, Maria Erkekoglou, help me with conducting the 2nd part to the experiment I had worked on back on 2014. Helping me is an understatement, she literally did all the work, with myself merely providing the material necessary, and some spiteful comments when a client would get back to us with an idiotic proposal.
To keep a long story short, it took me around 8 months to recover from the fracture and I still have some lingering issues, but I feel stronger than what I’ve felt in a long time, and I’m ready to get back. I want to help the community, I want to pay my debt, I want to work and work and work, and I want to feel that fire burning inside me again, the fire of working on a project or chasing clients or socialising and meeting wonderful people. Fellow translators who decided to forego an office job and the safety of a monthly pay check to follow their heart and aid the world to understand.
To all the people who sent me messages over the years and helped me when I was on my way down: You have my deepest thanks. I will never forget your kindness.